Blah.

I am NOT having a good day. Im tired...I have a headache and want to cry because I feel so fat. My clothes are either uncomfortable, too short pr falling apart and I just wanna WAAAAAAAAAA and feel uber pity for myself. Nothing positive in the post except my hubby is home and I get to hang out with him. AND Derby practice tonight but that may be a low point due to the overthrow girls. I like them....they just have made it sound like I (and others) are not good enough. Ah well. whatevs. Just wait until we start hitting...LOL
Two weeks until I go home to Campbell River for two weeks! YAYYYYY :)
Well peace out & derby love to all. Lets hope I can shake this blech off ;)

Positivity! (Is that a word?!) YUP!

 I have a whole "mental dictionary of Sue" that I keep tucked away in my mind that drives my hubby BONKERS! Turns out he is safe in sanity because POSITIVITY is a REAL word!! LOL
So I actually feel not to bad today! More awake and perky than I have been in the last week or so. Maybe the meds are finally kicking in!! HA HA HAAaaaaaa. Yeah.
I am roller derby-ing away and I think that has made me start to like things again. Other than the drama that women bring, it's alllll good! I just want to skate.
Skating has been helping me with my self confidence as well as the weight loss. I am gaining muscle pretty fast and maintaining the weight. Not losing it like crazy, but not gaining YAY!!! I am on a path towards better eating. It is hard with a hubby and kids that like processed foods for than veggies, but one step at a time! I am going to try cooking up some great ideas found on an AWESOME blog http://ashiegirl.blogspot.ca/  She is so inspiring to eat clean!! I told Kent about the cool recipes last night and he was...thrilled...if you count raised eye brows and a nervous smile as thrilled. I shall post his reaction to the recipes as I make them. See if I can convert him!
So here's to happy-happy and all that jazz! Peace out & Derby Love!

Lazy + no motivation...ugh!

So I haven't really started my "journey" so to speak. I was so pumped to begin but then I kept making excuses. I have been using the Vi shake mix that I had gotten back in October and usually have just one shake a day. Surprisingly I have lost 8 lbs in one month just on that alone. I think by having a shake, it makes me aware of what I eat rather than just winging it. I am BAD for not eating most of the day so that is a problem in it's own. Nel, my friend signed me up on the LoseIt site & I got the app for my iphone. It is pretty sweet! I am definitely thinking about how many calories I am eating!! So heres to the start of my blog. I hope to make a post at LEAST once a week. I have a long journey ahead. I started it at 200lbs. I am at 192lbs and want to get back down to 130....I know. A BIG DREAM. I have hit bottom and the only place to go from here is up...right?? I hate myself and what I have become. I do not like people looking at me and feel so ugly. That is why I need to go up. NOT down. To learn to love myself and feel comfortable in my own body. Welcome....:)